VALENTINE'S DAY QUOTES III
quotations about Valentine's Day
It's been projected that Americans will spend over $13 billion this Valentine's Day. And guys who forget Valentine's Day will spend over $100 billion.
CONAN O'BRIEN
Conan, February 13, 2012
Look, there's no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.
FERNANDO PESSOA
"Tobacco Shop"
On Valentine's Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like a waste. You don't need to wine and dine your dog. Either way, he's going to hump your leg.
JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy Kimmel Live!, February 14, 2012
I enjoyed some high school Valentine's Day dances. But there were other times when I stood against the wall, wondering why no one wanted to boogie with me. And as a single young woman, I had years when the holiday meant long-stemmed roses and candlelight dinners and others that saw me playing Solitaire until bedtime.
KATHY IDE
21 Days of Love: Stories That Celebrate Treasured Relationships
There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single, flashing, throbbing moment.
SARAH DESSEN
The Truth About Forever
Sure, of all days that ever were dated,
Valentine's Day is the fullest of news;--
Then ev'ry lass expects to be mated
And Cupid goes round collecting his dues!
THOMAS HOOD
"Valentine's Day"
Guess what? There's no law saying you must celebrate Valentine's Day. Not since the last time I checked, anyway. If you find Valentine's Day painful, corny, commercial, or plain old irritating, ignore it. Abracadabra, Valentine's Day is gone. Poof!
VIKKI ZIEGLER
"Valentine's Day Is Just Another Tricky Day When You're Divorced", Huffington Post, January 26, 2017
I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then? Ten grand?
JAY LENO
attributed, The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes
Do skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? Sure, they're very scent-imental!
JIM KRAUS
The Laugh-a-Day Book of Bloopers, Quotes & Good Clean Jokes
Soul meets soul on lovers' lips.
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY
Prometheus Unbound
Valentine's Day is the worst. It is the most self-sabotaging, cut-your-nose-off-to-spite-your-face holiday we human beings have been stupid enough to come up with. This unmitigated annual disaster is devoted to celebrating, and so putting a microscope to, societal mores about what it means to be in romantic love. (And so also the even-more-fun part, hahaha -- the lonely inverse!)
DAVE BRY
"Valentine's Day expectations are a setup for heartbreak", The Guardian, February 14, 2016
Stay, little Valentine, stay,
Each day is Valentine's day.
LORENZ HART
"My Funny Valentine"
It was bad enough not having a boyfriend for New Year's Eve. Now I had to cope with Valentine datelessness, feeling consummate social pressure from every retailer in America who stuck hearts and cupids on their windows by January second to rub it in.
JOAN BAUER
Thwonk
Saint Valentine is past;
Begin these wood-birds but to couple now?
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
A Midsummer Night's Dream
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
CHARLES M. SCHULZ
attributed, Quotes To Remember
When you're in elementary school, Valentine's Day is an obligatory dropping of cheap paper cards into construction-paper boxes in front of everybody's desk. In high school, perhaps an elaborate purchase of helium balloons that you have to carry around awkwardly from math class to first lunch. By the time you reach adulthood, the magic is kinda gone. If you're dating, you get to spend twice as much for the same meal at Intermezzo as you spent there last Saturday, and if you're single, don't even try to get a table; they're booked.
JASON JOHNSON
"Ditch the Doomsayers: Black Love Is Real This Valentine's Day, and Here Are 5 Facts to Prove It", The Root, February 14, 2016
There's a Goodwill store in Sarasota, Florida where they're asking people who have been through a breakup recently to donate their ex's old belongings for Valentine's Day. It's a great idea. They should rename themselves GoodRiddance instead of Goodwill.
JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy Kimmel Live, February 11, 2016
This February 14th I declare V-Day; no, not V for Valentine ... V for Victory over a longstanding holiday that has twisted the hearts and minds of all who have been unfortunate enough to have been brainwashed by its evil pull since first placing store bought cards into tiny shoeboxes in elementary school. V for Victory over greedy swine toying with the emotional well being of the public at large to increase profit margins. But most importantly, V for Victory over longstanding feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness based on an arbitrary date on a calendar.
ALEXANDER KERN
"I Heart the Crotchety Bastard or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Be Indifferent to Valentine's Day", February 14, 2006
On Valentine's Day, the Spirit Club plastered the school with red streamers and pink balloons and red and pink hearts. It looked like Clifford the Big Red Dog ate a flock of flamingoes and then barfed his guts up.
CAROLYN MACKLER
Vegan, Virgin, Valentine
Speaking of prisoners, this should be an interesting Valentine's Day at the White House. For instance, will Donald Trump get flowers from Vladimir Putin? We don't know. And what about his wife Melania? Will they spend the night together or will she remain trapped like Rapunzel at their apartment in New York? Melania has a new line of greeting cards. They carry them at CVS: "Happy Valentine's Day" (open it) "Save Me."
JIMMY KIMMEL
Jimmy Kimmel Live!, February 8, 2017