A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you're home.
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Give blood. Play hockey.
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The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who have tattoos, and those who are afraid of people with tattoos.
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Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
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I've never been skydiving, but I have zoomed-in on Google Earth really fast.
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Is "UGH" an emotion? Because I feel it all the time.
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I like rumors. I find out so much about me that I didn't even know!
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We lose ourselves in books. We find ourselves there too.
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A hypocrite is one who sets good examples only when he has an audience.
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A liberal is a socialist with a wife and two children.
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He who dies with the most toys wins.
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If shopping doesn't make you happy, then you're in the wrong shop.
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Grandmas never run out of hugs or cookies.
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Vacation: a period of travel and relaxation when you take twice the clothes and half the money you need.
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Paradise is not a place, it's a state of mind.
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When hell freezes over, I'll play hockey there too.
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Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life.
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People say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people.
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Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
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Hockey is figure skating in a war zone.
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